After a little wanderin in the town (bought some health potions, thought it might be a good idea) we all went up to the observatory. The guy that answered the door was short and way too distracted for his own good. He stuttered a lot. It was kinda funny to listen to. Bet I could make him piss himself if I tried. Anyway, he said we had a big black guy to deal with. Said he was bigger than I was, which was difficult to believe. But then everyone started looking through the telescope to look at him and kept makin big deals outta it so I had to take a look.
It was a dragon.
A big fucking black dragon.
My first thought? Oh hell the fuck no. Count me out. I ain’t stupid enough to go wanderin in thinkin I can beat a dragon. I don’t even remember how I got convinced to go out there, but I went. Thought I might die, just lookin at it. Deth says they can smell fear. I musta stunk to high heaven. Dragon said something about finding some prophecy in a cave and about not being able to interfere himself or something. It’s difficult to pay attention when you’re tryin not to have a heart attack. So we went to the cave. Which was guarded by some ugly rats and a nasty lookin dog thing (that came out once we started makin noise. Bit Taz. She got a funny lookin rash).
Killy Tally Two ugly fuckin rats
We got some torches goin and went into the mine. The path was pretty narrow, only enough space for two to walk side by side, which was fine by me. Just means I get more action, but enough space to make a scape goat if I gotta. Some goblins (more fuckin goblins) tried to ambush us when we got into a wider room, but they didn’t do so good. Loud fuckers. Like laughin too much I imagine. Made quick work of those fuckers too.
Kill Tally Two laughin goblins, total 4. Doin better today I’d say. Usin too many potions for this shit.
The place split into different directions. We all stuck together. Found a room full of sleepin goblins. I say we coulda fought them but whatever. Instead I got to watch Nu go around and slit all of their throats without makin even one of em so much as snort different. Hot damn this woman. I ain’t never met a woman quite like her and I’m pretty sure I never will again. Definitely a keeper, that one. S’gettin difficult to keep my hands to myself. Kept movin. Found a room where they kept their nasty rats. I wasn’t really payin attention but the rest of those things left. Still say we shoulda just killed em. Whatever. Found the goblin shit hole. More like Cedric stepped in the goblin shit hole, which was pretty funny if ya ask me. I’m just glad Anna didn’t go shit hunting again. I don’t even wanna know what she did with the last stuff she found.
On the other side of the big open room I fell into a goddamn trap. It hurt too much for how woozy I was already feelin. Taz threw me a rope (no way in hell she could pull me up on her own though. Skinny girl, that one). Again Nu saved my ass. Gave me one of her potions. Plus she’s fuckin adorable and you can’t really go wrong with that. They talked to some snack goblin whateverthefuck. I wasn’t payin attention anyhow. We got some weird shiny blue-green rocks from the deal and went to go kill some more. Which is always fine by me. Oh yeah, I got this awesome fuckin short sword made from the stuff. Baby cuts like a dream.
Got to test the new blade on the weird lookin four armed goblin master assholes. Deth almost got a Morningstar to the face. Glad he didn’t. Woulda been a waste of a good face. He shot the fucker dead. Strike two on Gareth’s ‘jeez I wanna fuck them’ list. Dunno how much longer I can take this shit. Sword slid nicely between ugly mcfourarms ribs. Died pitifully, talkin to itself. Even covered in blood the thing still shines nicely. Whatever was goin on over on the other side of the room didn’t seem to be goin so well. You leave these people alone with a tentacle monster for two seconds and the thing is still kickin. I guess they were doin alright at keepin it there. Good enough for me. Decided I’d go help and stab the fucker right where it hurts. Shoulda seen its tentacled face twitchin as it was dyin. Maaaan. I love this job.
Side note: Somethin weird happened in that cave. Heard a voice. Sounded like a woman’s. Wasn’t a bad feelin. Made me feel real good actually. Pumped up, ready to kick some goblinthingy ass. Told me to stay strong (like I’m ever not strong). Weird though. People don’t go around hearin voices in their head unless they’re crazy. Should probably keep this to myself.
Kill Tally One four armed goblin fucker, One tentacled weirdo. Total six plus one souvenir (hello tentacle, meet tooth. Time to be friends.)
Everyone started doin their own thing after. Taz and Nu looted bodies, dunno what Anna did, Deth was scratchin at the shiny rock at the far wall. Got curious so I went over. Man looked like he was in love with it or some shit. Think I heard him mutterin something to himself. Asked him what the prophecy was. He said somethin about madness and screaming and silver flames, whatever the fuck that all means. Anyway, he took the stone and we hightailed it outta there.
Right back to the goddamn dragon. Pretty sure I almost pissed myself this time around. The damn thing was close enough for me to fuckin reach out and touch it. Him. Whatever the fuck it is. Dragon. At arms fuckin length. Thought for sure it was gonna gobble Deth right up for lyin to it about the stone and whatever the fuckin prophecy was. Also pretty sure he wants to kill Nu. What the fuck. The two people in this goddamn party that I want the most and he wants to kill one of them. Can’t have that. So I kept an eye on his guntotin ass. Missed pretty much everything the dragon said but it wouldn’ta made sense to me anyway so fuck that noise. Pretty sure Deth was thinkin a gettin the hell outta Dodge though. Somethin about us havin to go to Thraine or whatever the fuck to give the stone to whoever silver flame whatevers. He didn’t look too pleased.
Went to talk to the jittery old man to get paid. He didn’t have 2000 per person but we swindled him outta 4000. Pretty sure Taz might be serious on hittin him up for the rest later. I don’t really care too much. We made bank and I got to scare the tar outta him. Hope he has nightmares for a while. He put us up. People started splittin into pairs. I was pretty much already stuck to Deth (back massages are a great way to calm people down, just so y’all know) so I stayed there.
Couldn’t have him runnin off anyway. Or gettin up in the middle of the night to try to assassinate Nu. Boy needs a babysitter sometimes I swear. I fuckin hate bein a babysitter. But hell no he wasn’t leavin. Fuck that. He’s too fun and there is too much I still wanna do to let him disappear in the middle of the goddamn night. Didn’t wanna hurt him though. Breakin him would be…uh…counterproductive? Think that’s the word. Whatever. Tried to stay up until he fell asleep but that didn’t work so well. Guess it was a good thing I didn’t let him sleep in his own goddamn bed. Stupid habits sometimes come in handy. Haven’t slept in the same bed as someone in…a really long time. Sexin em and leavin once they fall asleep is different. This was…yeah. Weird. Gonna go with weird. He’s pretty small. Didn’t really notice until he was, uh, that close. Smells good. Pretty sure he didn’t mind too much neither since I woke up with him runnin his hands up n down my arms. Heh. Might have a shot after all.
I get the feelin he’s not too keen on all of the whole embarrassin shit though. All I know is that he ain’t goin anywhere and he ain’t gonna be puttin a bullet in Nu anytime soon. Took fuckin two hours of talkin to him to get him to stop tryin to actively escape. Never been so frustrated by one person in my life. Well, nah. I can think of a time. But fuck that. I ain’t losin the things I like and he can fuckin deal with it. Just gonna go with that.